At around 2:30 am on July 29, 2006, after a night of
partying, I was home standing on my 3rd floor apartment balcony. I’d just
gotten off the phone with my cousins, who were in a cab on their way over, and
leaned over the railing on my balcony to check if I could see any headlights
projecting to indicate that they had arrived. Next thing I knew, I was being
awoken by my cousins, laying on the ground and unable to get up. I had just
fallen off of my balcony and was lying on a patch of grass right next to a sidewalk
and 6 inches from a sprinkler head. My vertebrae were fractured, which
compressed my spinal cord and left me completely paralyzed from the waist down.
I was only 22 years old at the time and was just
finishing up my last few classes at the University of Houston before I could
complete my undergraduate degree. The idea of being paralyzed didn’t align with
any vision or plan I had for my life. The doctors only gave me a 5% chance to
ever walk again and I was now in a rehabilitation hospital learning how to live
my life in a wheelchair. I kept hoping it was all a dream. And then came my
next step in facing my new reality, after living on my own for the past few
years attending college, I was moving back home with my parents.
Moving back home was tough to accept because I felt like
my life was regressing. I refused to live my life like this. I hated everything
about it. My family wanted to make modifications to my bathroom to make it more
accessible – I resisted. I didn’t even want to learn how to drive with hand
controls. I felt that by doing these things I would only be giving in to my
paralysis. However, eventually I had to give in because I was only making life
harder for my family and myself. I was doing all sorts of therapies, remedies,
and exercises to help heal me. I traveled to different parts of the world to
explore alternative treatments including homeopathic medicine, cold laser
therapy, and even stem cells. Failed treatment after failed treatment, I kept
persisting as I felt the more I tried God would eventually reward me for my
efforts. I spent 3 years trying to find a solution to my problem, and my
efforts were getting exhausted. I was sick of waiting for a miracle to happen.
I couldn’t emotionally take any more disappointments in my life. I felt
defeated, and I contemplated if life was even worth living anymore. I had now
reached rock bottom.
When you reach rock bottom you have 2 choices; to live or
to die. I had to contemplate every aspect of my life and figure out how I could
move forward. To live meant to accept my situation and to not let it hinder me
living life. To die meant to do nothing and drown in my sorrows. I chose to
live. I was so attached to my life before my accident and now I had to reach
acceptance and let it go. However, I realized that I only had to accept today,
not forever. By accepting today I could live my life day by day, moment by
moment. I have no idea what is to come in my future so why should I ever limit
my possibilities? I also decided that if I were going to live my life in a
wheelchair, it would be on my terms. My terms were that I was going to do
whatever felt right to me, with clarity and conviction.
I looked forward to all the things that I wanted to do
now. One of the biggest things was that I wanted to play wheelchair basketball
and other sports and activities. It became clear to me that I needed to move
back to Houston to completely fulfill myself. This was going to be the biggest
step of my life because I had never lived alone in this situation, but I was ready.
I started applying for jobs, but we were in a recession and I had no work
experience so nobody was going to hire me. During my first week in Houston I
saw a billboard while I was driving that said “ABILITIES EXPO”. It was the
largest disabilities show that covered everything from sports to wheelchair
manufacturers to medical issues, and it just so happened to be going on in
Houston for the first time ever the weekend after I moved back. I felt like
everything was just falling into place.
Today I am a Houston apartment locator. Life has been
amazing ever since I took this plunge. I feel like I just know how to live life
now. Because of what I have gone through, I am fearless. I have already been
through the worst, there is nothing that could affect me nearly the same way;
hence, I have nothing to hold me back. My mentality is all about going with the
flow, not worrying about the future, forgetting about the past and just living
every moment of every day. That’s what I’m all about, just living life. My life
has taught me so much and led me to where I am today. I love my life and
everything that comes with it.. I now know that everything I have gone through
has been a blessing in disguise.
You were given life; it is your duty to find something
beautiful within life, no matter how slight - Elizabeth Gilbert
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